This is something that so many people struggle with. Trying to conform, fit in, be accepted. Trying to be true to yourself is often difficult. A friend of mine really struggled with this concept as she was growing up. Many of you will be able to relate to her story. She was told there are 5 reasons you aren’t fitting in and why it’s OK. My friend agreed and I LOVE the conclusion she came to at the end!…
Growing up being the odd person out was something I eventually became accustomed to. Not that I liked it much. It just was. I tried desperately to fit in, make friends, be accepted. Nothing worked. I tried too hard and quite often just ended up making a fool out of myself. Once I entered high school I was sure things would change. It would be easier for to blend in with the cool kids. I mean, there were so many, surely I would belong in there somewhere. No luck. When I finally got to college I realized that this was the life I was going to live.
A life of never fitting in. Oh I made a few friends in college. A few close ones I actually still keep contact with. But no big frosh parties or pub crawling for me with the rest of the gang. And that was ok. After a while I started studying people and their behaviours, desperately trying to seek answers about what it takes to fit in and why I just never made the cut. It took some time but I finally figured it out. I think I did anyway. I’m happy to share my findings with you with one very important fact you should make note of.
IT’S OK TO NOT FIT IN!
- Being different scares people. I know, I didn’t get it at first either. When people are presented with something they don’t understand, instead of trying to figure it out, they ignore it. They won’t and don’t take the time to try to figure out. Most people don’t like things out of the norm. It just scares them and no one likes fear.
- People don’t like being intimidated.Intimidation is kind of like that big green monster in the closet that no one wants to talk about. It’s there but you just ignore it. When you are different, there is clearly something about you that people can’t put their finger on and they are not sure if they should love you or hate you. For some reason you intimidate them and because of this,
they want no part of you. Period. - You’re a different kind of cool.There are the cool people that drink and smoke (yes that’s still a thing) and drive fast cars, own big houses and then there’s you. Your kind of cool is reading books, wearing flowers in your hair (only if you’re a girl, really), going to church, and volunteering at the nursing home. No one wants to hang with that kind of cool. It simply isn’t cool enough.
- You don’t like to gossip. For some reason, gossiping is like godliness to most people and this just baffles me. If you can’t bash your neighbour or your co worker until the cows come home then no one wants to hang with you. You are suddenly considered boring. For real. People love to have gossip fests and you all better join in otherwise, you’re an outcast.
- Progressive thinkers are often shut out. Not everyone can keep up with a progressive thinker or someone who likes to think outside the box. It challenges them and for some bizarre reason, they feel inferior or “dumb”. You have great ideas and different thought processes. You are a free thinker and a free spirit. People look at you like you have 3 heads. They don’t get it. Why would they want to hang with anyone that makes them feel like that?
It is extremely difficult for people to understand those of us that are unique and happy. Because of this, they keep us at arm’s length and more than likely, talk about us behind their backs. That’s ok too. This is usually a sign of weakness for them. People don’t like to get out of their comfort zone too much. It’s safe there. When they come across someone that challenges that comfort they cringe, hide behind their glass walls and for the most part, just ignore you.
The craziest part of this whole thing? They secretly admire you and wish they could be like you. Different, brave, bold, free and happy. You don’t fit in? That’s ok, neither do I and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
